Football, with a bang...
I was reading an article on Planet Unreal. It seems the forthcoming Unreal Tournament 2003 won't feature Assualt mode. Instead of having one team defend a series of objectives from another, they decided to play football. Check it out:

"UT Assault fans will be disappointed to hear that Assault mode isn't included in UT 2003. It's been replaced by a new mode called Bombing Run, which has been described as football with a bomb instead of a ball. After the bomb spawns in the middle of the map, both teams attempt to pick up the bomb and take it to the opposing team’s base. If you succeed, the enemy’s base blows up and your team gets a point.

To make things more interesting, you can pass the bomb back and forth between other players. Teamwork and passing are essential, because if you’re carrying the bomb you can’t fire any of your weapons. Nothing stops you from throwing the bomb in the air, wasting some guy, and catching it yourself on the way down, though. You can also pass the ball to an unsuspecting enemy to prevent them from firing at you, kill him, and take the ball back!"

Posted at 21:48 # G

On a Mission...
For the past three weeks my feet have been ripped apart whenever I wear my Easton Air skates. I won't bother showing you the carnage. It's strange because the F3 is supposedly a cheaper product, but it still feels fine. Keeping an extra pair for outdoors handy is a must or else you'll wear indoor wheels down fast. So I decided to try Mission.

Fuck! These things kick ass. Ultra light weight and the ViBE chassis might be better than the Rocker.

In love.

Posted at 22:42 # G

Well,...
Aside from the recent events, the rest of my week can be classified as shitty. Work sucked bad. Everything from extra deliveries, schools recieving new books, and broken clutches would happen to me. This weekend better rock!
Posted at 22:26 # G

Getting old...
Ouch, this hurts. But it's worth it. Can't wait to play again.
Posted at 20:37 # G

Hockey 101...
So Ed gets a taste of roller hockey and finds he likes it. I learned to skate for a few months before trying hockey, but he just jumps in with booth feet (sometimes landing on his ass), and plays a game on DAY 1. Yesterday we hit up Mayberry Park and get kicked around by a gaggle of 8 year olds. My legs felt tired after a few hours. So what do I do?

I play again today. Two guys from the league in La Verne invite me to a pick-up game in Belmont Shores. Damn, I'm so sore. We were schooled by these guys who showed up. Keep in mind that we don't have a year of experienced combined and they've played for many years. We kept mixing the teams so both goalies could get some practice. All in all everyone was nice, we learned a few lessons the hard way.

It's an awesome place to play. The outdoor rink sits across the street from the beach. Nice ocean breezes, nice views ;)

Posted at 18:17 # G

Brutal...
I finally found a cure for the summertime blues. Without any hockey to watch, I'll have to devote my limited tv viewing to Major League Lacrosse. I just watched the Long Island Lizards beat the Baltimore Bayhawks and 20 guys just beat the hell out of each other. Not quite as brutal as football or hockey, but damn close. I hear the indoor version, the Natioal Lacrosse League, is even rougher. And I thought Sunday morning was just for hangover recovery.
Posted at 14:20 # G

Affirmation...
I considered an important decision a while back, scared that I would set myself up to fall again. So I stalled, waited, then stalled and waited some more.

Then I remembered that life should move forward and while I have little control over how I feel, my actions are purely mine. If I'm searching for happiness, why bother going back to something that proved so disappointing and painful. What's that stupid saying? Something like "Fool me once, shame on you.... fool me twice, shame on me." However I butchered the phrase, you get the idea. It hit me that lonliness and feeling a little empty inside shouldn't push me to set myself up for another betrayal. If life is the culmination of learning through experience, why volunteer to regress to a time when I dreamed of any accident that would end the hurt. So I decided not to take any "life altering acts."

Earlier this week, a friend of mine informed me about some recent happenings involving the people in question. It was uncomfortable to hear (as it usually is), but at the end I realized I avoided a disasterous situation. I stayed clear of one fucked up human being. I won't be a recurring episode in someone's soap opera. The last time was so disappointing and realizing someone you loved is really the type of person you hate, kills your faith in people. Once is enough.

Since that ugly time, so much has changed in my life. Aside from being active in things I want to do, my mind has grown so much stronger. I can truly say that it was a learning experience and I can't believe how much I've changed since then. Will that person even recognize me now? Not really. I wouldn't think so.

I've managed to keep the things I like. Ask any of my friends and I'm sure they'll say I'm a generous guy (sometimes to a fault), always willing to help when needed (in anyway possible). The way my son speaks to me confirms that I'm doing good as a parent. Yet my mind works so differently now. Sometimes you go through the pain and come out with a sense of strength. Lysa would always tell me to stop bringing broken people into my life. You know, I haven't heard her say that in a long time. Maybe I've finally learned.

Lare

Posted at 09:30 # G

Deny...
the witnesses, deny all reason, deny the facts, deny common sense.

Deny the truth.

;)

Posted at 18:30 # G

Just my 2 cents...
Fucked by a bank. Yep, I was fucked by a bank today. Last night I tried to use my ATM card to purchase something and the dipwad behind the counter said it was denied. Now, bear in mind, this guy couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground. It was OK, since someone else forked over the money. I figured it was some dumbshit who couldn't figure out how to work the machine. The ridiculously repetative techno crap playing in background must have fried all common sense from his brain.

So today I try buying a gift for my friend. Card is denied again. OK, wtf is going on. I call the bank and they say there's been "unusual" transactions lately. "Like what?" I asked. Get a load of this...

Buying 2 records from Europe added $0.01 to each transaction. So after buying the Visions of Change LP and Joyce McKinney Experience LP, a grand total of $0.02 (yes, TWO CENTS) was deducted from my account. The bank saw this as "unusual" and felt my card number was "compromised." They allegedly tried to verify these charges with me (I never recieved a phone call or email). BOOM, card is cancelled. No way to change it. Game over.

So while I have money in an account, I can't withdraw anything from an ATM or make a point of purchase sale. They reminded me that by walking into a branch I could make a withdrawal (with an added fee, of course). The $3.47 in my pocket better carry me until the new card arrives. God forbid I want to eat.

FUCKERS!

Posted at 08:19 # G

Here goes nothing...
Succumbing to much pressure, I've decided to blog my thoughts that I voiced this past 4th of July. Seeing some of the dissappointing (yet expected) posts on the guestbook have made me think of some other fucked up shit. So I lump everything together:

For those that don't me too well, I was raised in a fairly devout Catholic family. At age 8 I became an alter boy, and no, I have never had any sick experiences with priests. Once I became a teenager, I stopped going to mass and quit "practicing" any religion at all. Yep, punk rock took over and I was an Anti-establishment, pro-animal, sexism fighting, no nuke, system bashing peace punk (tm).

I felt free in the scene, more in my element. I soaked it all in... gigs, records, videos, zines, protests, and any two-bit xeroxed flyer full of radical political thought. Needless to say, it was a change for me, but was it really different than what I was in before? Sure the belief system was different. But was I any more free?

In all my days of church going, I had never been so subjected to such close minded people. Yep, you read that right. The peace punk scene was LESS open minded. The people were more uniform in thought than the people I met in the Catholic Church. As ironic as it is, if you didn't follow the party line, you were looked down upon.

Reality can sometimes suck. And the reality of the situation is that peace punk did more to make me feel guilty. I had guilt over eating meat. I had guilt over trying to get into college. I had guilt over looking at an attractive woman. That's truly fucked up! Imagine that... a former alter boy didn't worry too much about sex until he became a punk. How much worse can it get? For fear of being seen as SEXIST, I avoided talking to women. Because many a time, my interest was met with anger and my motives were questioned. People thought I was just shy (which is true), but there was more to it. I tired of being under the microscope whenever I opened my mouth. It wasn't just about sex either.

Opening an anarchist ceneter involved some planning and the "collective" was short on common sense. Once, at an "anarchist" meeting of all places, I dared to disagree with a woman who everyone respected. Why? Because her idea was fucking stupid, that's why! When I called her on it and argued that her idea was bad, someone bothered to ask if I had a problem with a woman voicing her opinion. Of course not. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has them. But now the assholes are having opinions, and they're making decisions. It's little wonder why L.A.'s very own "De-Center" failed so miserably.

Does this mean that everyone associated in punk or the anarchist movement is a piece of shit. No, it doesn't. Do I hate punk? Hell no. I will always be a part of it. It will always be a part of me. Just last week, Ed and I downed a few pints and just reminisced about the gigs, parties, and people we missed. We talked about the first time we heard Conflict, we talked about first time we went to a gig. We just smiled and laughed. Dammit, I want to feel like that again. Litmus Green won't provide that for Ed anymore. I would be pissed off at him if he stayed with it (you think he's grumpy now?!?!). And if I look across the stage and see MY FRIEND uncomfortable, you can bet your ass I'm not happy either.

Do I have to accept what any band tells me? Fuck no. Punk has taught me to question everything, even punk itself. I look at the things I believed in 15 years ago. Most of those things are still there for me. Some aren't. Some have changed. Why? Because I refuse to be a self righteous asshole and think I figured out everything when I was 18. You know, racist still sucks. It always will. But my ideas of fighting racism have changed. I think some other methods might be more effective in keeping these idiots in check. I guess that means I'm "too old" or "grown up." There's a difference between giving up and growing smarter through experience.

Fuck those people who want me to be a static, stoic mind for the rest of my life. I will continue to think things through. And if I find something that makes more sense than my previous ideals, so be it. What I am going to do? Deny a self evident truth and stick to a flawed philosophy? I'll leave that to the carbon copy kids I see in uniform, complete with a "There is no authority but yourself" stencil on the back. When I was in Resist & Exist ('90-'92), it went from something important to a waste of fucking time. I never regretted leaving and I just wish I didn't wait so long before trying a band again. I won't make that mistake again.

Funny thing is, Crass went through this same thing. And they are all the better for it.

Lare

Posted at 18:49 # G

Bud Light Presents, Real Men of Genius...
(scratchy voiced singer): Real men of genius.

Today we salute you, Mr. Generic Vegan Anarchist Punk Rocker.

(scratchy voiced singer): Mr. Generic Vegan Anarchist Punk Rocker.

Only you can tell people that they are free to live their lives in harmony with nature in true anarchistic form, yet still collect your government sponsored food stamps.

(scratchy voiced singer): Grab the tofu on sale now!

Sure, you want people to think for themselves, but if they aren't like you then they must be fascists. And if any of those free thinking people out there eat a slice of bologna, then kick their Nazi asses... brilliant.

(scratchy voiced singer): Heil Crass, now!

And who better to inform the masses of the evils of modern society than you, a 16 year old who can't even apply your own Oxy-10. Thanks be to Jello that you are here for us.

(background female singers): Don't pop 'em, don't pop 'em.

Genuflect the Mighty Conflict Logo, because Big Colin is watching you. Now grab that black flag and march with 7 others to show solidarity. SWAT is shaking in their boots.

(scratchy voiced singer): Goose-step, goose-step.

So grab a nice cool Bud Light, oh comarade of the rebellion (if you can afford it), because Jesus may have paraded in on a donkey, but your just an ass.

Posted at 23:58 # G

Art 101...
C'mon people learn some basic design principles. I've found something that really bites my ass. POOR WEB DESIGN!!! Really, is it so hard to design something that won't blind me in the first 12 seconds? Is it so difficult to have some cohesion in the layout? Can't you put links in a readily accessible area? Do you need a 3 meg 2498x1232 .jpg as your background?

The problem with DIY (music, online investing, home improvement, etc.) is that any idiot can get tools to make himself look like a complete ass. As my friend Ian once said, "Is there no limit to the depths of imbecility that some folks will display to the world at large?" Amen.
Posted at 20:13 # G

Chiefs, we hardly knew ye...
The Chiefs have been disbanded. I guess all the new players in the league have forced the management of the La Verne Hockey Club to create new teams. So now I got new guys to try and keep up with. Oh yeah, Faisal isn't on my team. I've got a bruise to prove it too. I really didn't want a 3-peat anyways.

Really.

Posted at 23:21 # G

This is good, believe me...
Well, I may be a footnote in this band's history but I'm glad I got to be here for a little bit. How many people get to play in their favorite band???

So now what? I've known about Ed's fruastration with the band for a long time. I think he reconsidered me for the band when we sat down to discuss the band's reactions to 9/11 (the first time I was considered was about 8 years ago). He was already tired of the whole thing. New problems have just made it worse. Quitting LG was just a matter of time. This is probably the best thing for him too.

Gotta love the way Lysa just gets it out. Some people could take a lesson from her.

Seems like I should say a lot more, but I can't think of anything. That's a first.

Posted at 23:41 # G

Change of pace, and back again...
Lately I've been listening to some slower stuff. I rediscovered some of my old tapes and reliving my youth has brought a smile. Sometimes the mid tempo stuff just carries more energy than the hardcore bands. So there I am, just grooving along, digging it, man.

Then, when you least expect it, something comes out of the blue (again) and fucks it up. So now I sit here, pissed off as can be, wondering where I go from now. I look at a pile of my old demos and wonder, "What if?" Nothing will happen unless I move. Until then I'll have to bear it and maybe even keep my mouth shut.
Posted at 10:40 # G

Mullets Speak...
Faceoff.com has an article posting the best quotes of the 2001-2002 NHL season. Here's my favorites:

"Maybe that's why they lost the Second World War, guys." - Herb Brooks on Team Germany after German coach Hans Zach welcomed playing the Americans at the Olympics.

"No, I don't fight anybody I played against in Juniors. I think everyone I played Juniors with is dead now." - Los Angeles veteran Kelly Buchberger.

"At least they can't go after my spleen." - Peter Forsberg when he heard that the Los Angeles Kings would be gunning for him in the opening round of the playoffs.

"I could breathe. It's hard, but I can breathe through my mouth. So everything is fine, except that I look ugly." - Phoenix Coyote's Danny Markov on why he chose to play after he blocked a shot with his face that resulted in a broken nose and 25-stitches across the bridge of his nose, up the side of the eye socket and branching out on his forehead. He also had two blackened eyes and a left eye so swollen that it was a quarter of the way open.

I wonder if Shaq or Sean Green would stay in the game. Ha!
Posted at 22:05 # G

Consoles, and why they suck...
I read some posts regarding the Robotech game coming for all 3 major consoles. Most of it was the usual hype that precedes any release.... until I read further. I guess some idiots didn't read the interview on the home page very well, or maybe their mommy didn't clean their specs good enough, because the whole discussion turned into "PS2 Rules! X-Box sucks" and "PS2 sucks ass, Gamecube rocks!" etc., etc. It's worse than people arguing over what company makes the best car, or whether basketball is gay (we all know Ed's position), or who makes the best apple pie. It's like "I can't wear (insert any brand name of shoes), what will I do?!?!" For crying out loud, can't all of you freaks see the consoles suck and PCs KICK ASS!!!

;)


Posted at 19:20 # G

Back to Back...
Marji gets the only goal of the game with 3 minutes left and I get 2 minutes for Roughing. Well, the goalie shouldn't have tripped me and crosschecked my back in the first place. Fucking cunt. But the refs never see the initial penalty, I guess. Chiefs win 2 seasons in a row. Hey Freddie and Lillian, thanks for coming out and showing support.
Posted at 20:37 # G

Chiefs...
Tomorrow the Chiefs play for the Championship. I always say I'm going to take it easy on saturday so I won't be burned out on sunday. Then, Rick invites me and the kid over to his house to watch the Stanley Cup Finals. Somehow I don't think it'll be an early night. Plus, I wanted to check out Disney Ice tonight. After watching a game on thursday I'm pondering making the jump to ice. It's more expensive but looks like fun. Of course with saturday nights being taken up by gigs and practice I'll once again have to jump into a division ahead of my pace.
Posted at 12:06 # G

Lare Sings...
Well not really. But I'm considering posting a slew of songs I've written over the years. Most are horribly recorded (4-track porta-studio at best) and almost none have lyrics. Maybe 1 or 2 would intrest the typical LG fan. The rest will sound too ugly or just plain weird. For about 5 years now I've said I'd do it, but I keep stalling. Seems to be a habit. Maybe I'll chuck them up here for amusement. Ya know, do my part to spread joy and laughter across the web.
Posted at 11:53 # G

Robotech...
I don't care what you say. Robotech kicks ass. Anyone who says different is an airhead with no sense of taste. Show me another animated series where main characters die horrible deaths and the protagonist knows less about women than I do.

While I am no fan of cel shaded gaming, I'm actually considering buying a console system just to play this game.

We Will Win!!!


Posted at 04:13 # G

Fuck...
Here we go again. Even those who are too young to realize the importance of their actions have some sense of motivation and desire. When I take a look, I am at a loss to figure it all out. I want to yell "MOVE!" Time isn't too short but apathy gets rooted deep and it'll stay around forever. School, work, Boy Scout meetings, softball practice, etc. etc. (or whatever takes up your day) can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but if you find something you truly have to do, why can't you work your ass off to get better at it. Maybe it's my working class upbringing and seeing my dad break his back to get the family through tough times. When you find something you truly love, why can't you shake the laziness and try harder. Maybe it's because I see something cool and want to jump in and learn it right away. I did that with computers, hockey, and guitar. My lack of talent and training are massive obstacles but I still like to get in there.

I'll never understand why you don't move.

Posted at 15:18 # G

Hear Her Roar...
Chiefs win 9-0. Marji scored FOUR goals. Way to go girl! Championship next week. Go Chiefs Go!
Posted at 09:53 # G

Go Chiefs Go, Go Chiefs Go...
Playoffs start tomorrow (sunday, 9pm). After last night, I need that long to recover. Stone Smoked Porter is like Sees Candy... dark, rich and slows you down to a crawl. Wish me luck and pray I don't fuck up my other knee.
Posted at 08:53 # G

I'm seeing Red...
Paaaaaaaatriiiiiiiiiick, Paaaaaaaatriiiiiiiiiick. Well, Patty WAAAH sucked and rumors are his wife has left the state. She figures she'll be in for a whole lot of pain when he gets home. I hate the Wings, but I'd love to see Luc use the Force and finally win the Cup.
Posted at 08:46 # G